Rick Warren aide explains Talking Heads cancellation, says something stupid

Rick Warren canceled his appearance with The Steph this weekend, claiming to be exhausted at the preparations necessary to celebrate the zombification of Jesus. Or at least his aide did. Or tried to, anyways.

Rick is facing a little Christian Consternation over saying that he never really supported California's Proposition 8, even though The Googles can show you video of him supporting California's Proposition 8 in about 2.1243345543 seconds. An aide emailed The Politico's Mike Allen with a lengthy explanation about why he couldn't make the Saturday taping of This Week with George Stephanopolous. Mixed in with the "he's exhausted from Christianizing and huffing fumes from his awesome new pulpit (Now with More Pompousness!)" was this little doozy:

“Throughout his pastoral ministry spanning nearly 30 years, Pastor Warren has remained committed to the biblical definition of marriage as between one man and one woman, for life — a position held by most fellow Evangelical pastors. He has further stressed that for 5,000 years, EVERY culture and EVERY religion has maintained this worldview."

Really, Aide to Rick Warren? EVERY culture and EVERY religion has maintained this worldview? None of them allowed a dude to have multiple wives? Ahem! (Mormons...) None of them allowed a little guy-action on the side while still being married to a woman? **Cough!** (all of them...) And by the way, since we're on the subject of the Biblical Worldview (Now with Easier to Obey Understand Language), what does the Bible have to say about divorce? What is Jesus' worldview on men putting asunder what's not supposed to be asundered? My understanding is Pre-Zombie Jesus had more to say about divorce than he had say about The Love That Dare Not Speak It's Name. In fact, word has it he never spoke of M4M or even 2M4M, but on divorce, he was specific. And pretty verbose compared to how much he had to say about The Gays.

But I digress. My pointless here is - the truth is always simple and lies are always complicated. Instead of a simple "He's exhausted and we'll be on next week", we got to hear about how "the hands-on preparation for an anticipated 43,000 Christians stopping by for The Word combined with fumes from his new pulpit and, and, his car wouldn't start after his alarm didn't go off 'cause the power went out in the middle of the night and his wife couldn't wake him 'cause she's been, you know, cooking all week for 43,000 Christians so she's tired too and blah blah fucking blah..."

Now, please Reverend Warren, for the Love of God (Thor) and his rock-hard hammer Mjolnir, get rid of that ridiculous fucking goatee.